Twelve years ago today these young'uns became parents.
It was thrilling each time we got to take you home, over and over again.
We got a little less fresh each time.
16 homecomings in your first 20 months was a lot my dear.
It was always such a relief to be a complete family again.
It's unnatural as a parent to celebrate your being really truly home today but we're trying. It's not really a party. Everything about it is wrong. I even botched the iced "cookies" made for the kids to mark the day. Despite the seeming potential, double butter actually doesn't taste very good. Oops.
Today is hard but I look back at last year and do recognize such healing since. These past few weeks I've thought a lot about how much being your mother has already impacted me as Esther's mother. It's like a chance to fall in love all over again, with a magnitude of joy and appreciation not possible without having known the depth of pain and loss.
You will always be my first instant love.
As this day comes to a close I'm off to cuddle with your baby sister,
while forever thinking about you, our daughter Lydia Vail.
Twelve Birthdays, nine of them with us.