Remember when
Jason texted me a play by play when Esther was getting cleaned up and weighed in the newborn nursery? We're in that mode again today, kinda. It's daddy/daughter bonding time in the radiology department of the Atlanta Children's Hospital for some urinary testing. With Lydia, I could muscle her into compliance with such. Amelia is way too strong and emotionally involved for my brute force. It was at her first GI appointment a year or so ago when I literally couldn't coerce the rectal exam into happening, enter Jason, less invasive options if at all possible and Versed. Prayers of many and begging various medical personnel unlocked the chill pill that was initially deemed unavailable for an awake procedure. I wanted the tests to be successful but even more to buffer the fear. That's what mamas are supposed to do. I would be there too if it made sense but know she's in great big (texting) hands.
Amelia asked me last night if I was going to be alright getting the kids off to school without her. I laughed but it was a valid question. That child can push my buttons better than almost anyone, like the week after Lydia's birthday.
I am used to the anticipation of grief dates or the actual days being rough but this year trouble came when I let down the day after, just as babymoon morphed into full-swing life. There came dentist and doctor's appointments in mass with nb in tow (Amelia grew 5" in the last 18mo!), the first of a series of tummy bugs this season (which have only effected our males strangely), behind on all the housework, neighborhood dogs getting into our fence for the great chicken massacre (10 fowl casualties!)...and ultimately my fractured focus and depleted energy which led to miserable homeschooling. So
unnaturally we took advantage of teacher/homeschool appreciation day at Rock Ranch and totally wore ourselves out. It was fun though, cutting bait and breathing a bit.
